::6th May-Berhenti Berharap::

Assalamualaikum gorgeous, I've been away for quite some times. Rest lama skit kat rumah. Tp pening kepala juga.

Hope you girls okay belaka. Alhamdulillah.

What happen was, doc n family asked me to take a good rest for a week. 

I was happy last week bila tau yang I pregnant.
Yes, pregnant. I tak sure sebab Clomid (1st course), PB or sebab mmg masa tu rezeki melekat. 

Tested twice and doc said it's too small too scan, susah nk nampak.  

Oh yes, I cried because of this. Happy. I've decided to test sebab rasa uncomfortable with my body. 

Yes you know all the early pregnancy symptoms for pregnant woman. 

Taken on 4th May 

Taken on 6th May 

But afternoon 6th, perut Sha sakit sangat. Before that I check ada brown spotting with clot. My bestfriend said who's one of the Doc at gov hospital, that's not normal. Pergi hospital cepat. My mum said benda yg sama. Perut sakit kejap-kejap. Kejap okay, kejap dtg balik. For few hours Sha tahan, sebab masa tu Sha nak balik Kjg from Bt Pahat. Tak tau mana nk cr O&G kat Bt Pahat. But I still can tahan the pain. Menangis jugak la nak menahan. Tak pernah rasa sakit mcm tuh. Senggugut, gastric okay lagi, but this one mmg different. 

Sampai Kjg, bleeding.. terus cari clinic and doc yg boleh relief the pain. I amik injection. Masa ni bila org tanya first pregnancy ke? and cakap, sabar ye. Sha dah nangis. Fragile sgt. Then, I went to KPMC, O&G takde, diorg suggest admit and br panggil doctor. Lambat. I went to ER kat Hospital Kajang. Doc cakap sakit tadi contraction threaten miscarriage. Scan, UT and BT dah amik. Last diorg hantar pergi O&G. Masa ni sakit dah kurang. So bermula tugas Doc Hidayah check, keluarkan and bersihkan ape yang patut. Ngilu. Org tu ckp D&C. Bila Doc keluarkan 2 types of clot yang diorg cakap  bukan darah beku, I diam. The other doc said, yes it's placenta. Then they call Dr Khoo, dia ni tgh pakai baju bedah. I was scared. Oh tak rupanya dia nak check further. Dia check clot tuh and said to me, yang tu kantung baby ye. I diam, fikir ape beza placenta and kantung baby. Sama ke. Then Sha tau la dalam rahim ni takde apa2 dah. Dr Khoo scan dari bawah and explained to me pasal rahim I besar berapa and ada satu tompok putih dlm tuh. Itu ada 1 lg darah beku yg tinggal but size dia kecil and akan keluar lepas diorg inject I lagi skali utk cairkan darah beku tuh. So this Doc ckp skang awak berpantang, and blood akan keluar for about 2 weeks. Lepas tu clean. 

Mungkin skrang belum rezeki Sha jadi ibu lagi. InsyaAllah, more to come. ALLAH kan Pengasih dan Pemurah. Sha takkan berhenti usaha and berdoa padaNya untuk dapat rezeki cahayamata lagi. 

This is the experience I will remember sampai bila-bila. 

How to overcome the sadness, Sha selalu ingatkan diri sendiri, insyaAllah ada rezeki lagi. Think positive. I register myself with BabyCentre.com.my & RatuHati.com. Banyak story, info and facts diorg share dalam tuh. But somehow, I still ada feeling yg I still pregnant.  :(

Love;

AA